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I can't recall that I ever witnessed my father displaying anger, or to put it differently, I never saw any signs of anger on his face. His facial expressions remained consistent, whether he was upset or not. I have a vivid memory from my childhood when I was at my uncle's house, playing in one room while my dad, my uncle, and one of their childhood friends were playing cards in the kitchen. My cousin became thirsty and ventured into the kitchen to ask for a drink, but my dad's childhood friend responded in a harsh tone, instructing my cousin to return to the room and play. My cousin obediently followed that directive. As he walked away, I overheard my father calmly telling his friend not to speak to my cousin that way.
Later that evening, my cousin once again went to the kitchen, and I followed closely behind, also wanting something to drink. Once again, my dad's childhood friend responded with a verbal rebuke, saying” didn't I tell you to take your ass back to the room and play”. It's important to note that my dad didn't always lead a conventional life, but he was fiercely protective of his family. After the second incident with his childhood friend, I witnessed my father calmly standing up from the table, lifting the grown man onto his shoulders, carrying him into the living room, and placing him forcefully through a glass coffee table. He simply said, "I told you not to talk to my nephew like that." Throughout this entire incident, my father didn't raise his voice or lose his composure. He always wore a smile, but his demeanor made it impossible to discern when he was truly angry.
We all have our own personal demons hidden deep within us, and sometimes, we must confront them and ask ourselves, "What are mine?" I may never fully understand my father's past traumas, but I can empathize with his pain.
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